1. 11 Nov



    Daybreak and Profanity | West End, Portland, Maine

    1. One of my favorite parts of living on the corner of a busy intersection in Portland, Maine's west end are the screeching cellphone conversations/fights that always seem to take place between the hours of 7: 00 and 9:00 a.m. on Sunday mornings.
    2. This morning's daybreak entertainment went as follows:
    3. Unknown Female (UF): Honey! Where the f*ck are you?! (Whiny noise. Whimpering.)
    4. - PAUSE -
    5. UF: OK. I hate my f*cking brother. I f*cking hate him. HONEY! WHERE THE F*CK ARE YOU?!!
    6. - PAUSE -
    7. UF: Alright. He f*cking thinks he's better than me just cuz he's not drinking today. And, he wouldn't let me take the f*cking kids in his car. I was gonna buy 'em some f*cking candy and I've got no cigarettes. None. Only two rollies. (Whiny noise escalating in pitch)
    8. - PAUSE -
    9. UF: I know. Like he doesn't drink every other f*cking day and all of a sudden he's a better F*CKING driver than me! A*shole!
    10. - PAUSE -
    11. UF: No. He wouldn't give me any money. Not any. Not even enough for more rollies. But, I took some anyway. F*CK HIM (screeching)!!! But, we'll be all set honey. We'll be all set 'til tonight.
    12. - PAUSE -
    13. UF: Yeah, I'll hurry. I'll be right there! Cuz there's some F*CKING A*SHOLE staring at me out his window (that would be me). What are you looking at you f*cking faggot?!
    14. - PAUSE -
    15. UF: I'm coming. I'll be there in a minute. I HATE MY F*CKING BROTHER!!! (screeching) (Whiny noise escalating in pitch as she walks up State Street)
    16. THE END
    17. Who needs cable?
    18. I hope everyone had a peaceful, profanity-free Sunday.